A Thousand Reasons I'm So Great, Reason #1

I love Mad Men.

Before I watch it, I get slightly anxious with excitement and wonder what's going on with Don and Betty, Roger and his underage wife, Peggy and whoever she's sleeping with, Joan and her rapist husband.

While I'm watching it, I get violent if anyone tries to talk to me.

After I watch it, I have my own breakout session with myself, analyzing each character's actions, words, decisions. Then I get sad that it's over.

I love Mad Men.

Last night, on episode 307, "Seven Twenty Three," Roger and Don were talking about a book that Ogilvy wrote, a tell-all about the advertising business called Confessions of An Advertising Man.

Don asks, "How is it?"

Roger answers, "It could have been called A Thousand Reasons I'm So Great."

And that's when I knew that I needed to write a book called A Thousand Reasons I'm So Great. Because who better than Roger Sterling to serve as inspiration? No one, obviously.

Reason Number One I'm So Great:

I saw a guy picking his nose and eating it on the T last night, and I didn't turn my head away in disgust.

Now you give me a reason you're so great, and we can all bask in our greatness together.