Hi Reader,
I would like to find out why you're so great. So tell me in the comments section of this blog. It can be one line or tons and tons of line. Up to you!
See the previous posts for inspiration. I'm so great for a variety of reasons, which change daily.
Don't be afraid to be an egotistical, big fat bragging bag of hot air.
Love,
Maria
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I was born the only white child in an all Mexican nursery in Tucson, AZ. I spent the first 2 years of my life wandering the southwest in a VW microbus. I have only lost one street fight, and it wasn't to a human... it was to a swan. I bolted a giant 800lb animatronic spider to the stone wall of a replica aztec temple using nothing more than 2 other guys, one rickety stepladder, and a flagrant disregard for OSHA safety regulations. I leapt from the back seat of a 1969 mustang convertible that was rounding a corner at 42mph. I played the demon god of heavy metal in a direct-to-dvd B-movie about a fictional 80's hair band. I successfully bartered a lower price on tennis racket style bug zappers from a street vendor in Hong Kong. I filled in as lead singer for the best cover band I've ever seen... which, it just so happens, was totally Filipino. I once made Nancy Kerrigan cry. I ATE Eddie Munster's autograph in front of him. I physically confronted a man who was wearing a full Batman costume, wielding a pair of nunchaku, and wandering a suburban neighborhood at night. I have eaten insects and chewed on tree bark for sustenance. I won a pair of tickets to Ireland by singing "Dude Looks Like a Lady" while dressed as Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. I was the personal trainer for one of OJ's lead defense attorneys. I tore off my shirt and challenged Kane from the WWE to a steel cage match. I was joined on stage by Peter Wolf from the J Geils band while singing "Centerfold". I was tapped out by a UFC lightweight champ. I corrected a Fox News reporter's improper grammar while live and on-air. I hawked hair-braiding and face painting services at a Renaissance Faire. I played Macduff in a performance of Macbeth in the Great Hall of an actual castle. I complimented Weird Al Yankovic on his choice of shirts. I was taught Kung Fu form by an old chinese man at the top of a mountain. I went without food for a week in order to buy snakeskin boots. I taunted a man through a megaphone... by telling him his canoe looked like it was made from greased paper bags... while standing on a riverbank... wearing a banana costume... and a mexican wrestling mask.
ReplyDeleteDrawing from a placid well-spring of aplomb, I bravely posted on Maria's Blog after what can only be described as an overwhelmingly fascinating and enthralling post from Skip D.
ReplyDeleteWho can post after Skip, he's the best! Who the hell is Skip?
ReplyDeleteWhy am I so great? Hmmmm...I make cake taste great for my DIL;)
I resisted the urge to kill someone with my bare hands today.
ReplyDeleteI feed my dog high quality chow although he stalks me every waking moment of his life.
I bring a lot of motherfuckin' joy all over the goddamn, asswipe of a planet.
THAT is what makes me great today.